Love and relationships, a topic that most people yearn to understand deeper but are too daunted to take that dive to learn how to thread it. The thought of having that healthy and effortless relationship is certainly as enticing as the wonders one might see beneath the ocean waves. But of course, we all know that it will take work and skill to reach that deeper level of love that is flowing and uncomplicated.
Pay Attention to Details
We have always
heard that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. But this notion can be
challenged that gender really does not matter when you are working towards developing
that healthy relationship. It is all about taking the time and moment to really
understand your partner and pay attention to the littlest of detail that he or
she is communicating to you verbally or with body language. The twitches in the
face when you talk with your partner, the change in the voice and even the
changes in the skin color. These are minute indications that you can really use
to understand your better half and develop a relationship that flows naturally.
You must have
probably heard about NLP being able to reach that desired outcome in the most
natural and effortless ways using its many techniques. This is because NLP
anchors on four important pillars that allow you to realize a desired outcome.
One of which is Sensory Acuity.
Heighten Your Senses
Sensory Acuity
is really what the term suggests. It is having the heightened keenness and
sharpness to notice and distinguish changes using your visual, auditory and
kinesthetic senses to pick up on a number of new information about how your
partner react when you communicate with him or her.
If your sensory
acuity is not turned on or you do not know how to use it as of the moment, but
in actuality, your subconscious mind already knows it. That is why you must
have felt a number times that you have a feeling that something is wrong with
your partner because what their saying is not consistence with their body
language or tone of voice that they are unconsciously signaling to you.
Developing your Sensory Acuity can certainly be of an advantage to you to be
able to look and identify these subtle changes and understand and use it.
This really
works with relationships, especially when you are discussing over certain
issues or problems. If you fail to heighten your senses, you may not be able to
pick up how your partner is responding or reacting to what you are trying to
say. One way of doing this is to get out of yourself and be aware and conscious
of the idiosyncrasies of your partner. It is about noticing without judgments
and do not immediately jump into conclusions.
You probably
know that altercations usually happen because you do not give your mind to
process what you are saying and how your partnering is reacting to it. So, it
is best to stop, understand and let all your senses to process all the
information that are conveyed to you. This way you can rightfully adjust how
you will communicate with your partner on the road towards that healthy and
effortless relationship.
Interestingly, a
study by Robert Birdwhistle, a communication researcher in the 1970s, said that
only 7 percent of communication is conveyed verbally and that the remaining 93%
are expressed unconsciously and not through words. And if you incorporate NLP’s
interpretation of communication that it is the response that you get and not
the message you send out, then it is really that much important to hone your
ability to notice and pay attention to details of your partner.
It Takes Practice
Developing your
Sensory Acuity does take practice. But, here are some simple, yet effective,
exercises that you can do to sharpen your senses.
1.
During your relaxing time, for instance while
you are drinking your afternoon coffee or tea, pick an object. It could be
anything – your watch, your phone or your coffee mug. Take notice of its
details. In the case of the watch, look at how the hands are shaped, the color
of watch’s face, the ridges of the watch frame or the color of the strap. Turn
it sideways or look at the reverse side, you will be surprised at the many
details of your watch that you may not have been able to spot before even if
you have been wearing it everyday.
2.
You can also pick a color or a shape and find
how many objects you will be able to see with that specific attribute. And do
not just go for the obvious; find them in the corners of a table or the details
of an item of clothing. Again, you will be amazed at the interesting things
that you will find.
3. One specific technique or exercise that NLP uses
to enhance your Sensory Acuity with another person is through Calibration. This
is a process of becoming aware of a person’s physiology and be able to
accurately interpret what these represent. You “read” your partner’s body posture,
eye focus, breathing and voice.
NLP’s Sensory
Acuity is actually a pretty exciting and fun technique to learn to enhance your
existing relationship with your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife. It will
allow you to develop your self-awareness and consciousness of others and how
well they respond to you.
Jacky is a certified NLP Trainer and Life Coach. Helps people create postive change & achieve their desired breakthroughs in life. Head over to his NLP Training website (www.jackylim.com) to unlock and unleashed personal transformation!
